Timmy and his family at the diner table.

- Could you please pass the ketchup?
- No.
- OH MAH GAWD MY LIFE IS OVER !!!!!!!!
- Setle down, Timmy. i can't reach the ketchup.
- Oh shit!
- Timmy, don't say "shit" in front of the table!
- Whatever. hey, where are the potatos?! OH NO !!!! THEY'RE ALL GONE !
- Timmy, show some manners!
- Ahhhhhh, this is shit, i'm goin' to bed.

and so, litle Timmy never learned to act properly in front in the table. tragic.

PASS THE FREAKIN KETCHUP !!!!!!!!

i just returned from war. there was blood, gore and violence. wow.

if you haven't noticed already, i'm just messing up a pile of shit. speaking of that, :

...and then, the dude was happy. he took a crap, and the greasey poop slided down on the floor. the huge wave of piss went directly out of his penis on the wall...

OMG!!! THAT IS SICK, WHO THE HELL WROTE THAT?!

...and then the dude took out his greasey penis and tried to aim. he failed (thankfully).

oh hello. that story up there? crap.
______________________________________

- so, i heard that something is goin' down.
- yeah, it's my underwere... see?
- omg, put it BACK ON
- why so... suprised?...
- dude, you're sick!
- why is that, handsome?...
- because you're showing your penis out in public! wait, what did you call me?!
- ah, let's forget about this... public, and get down to some serious buisiness...
- help!!! somebody help!!! a gay is stalking me!!!
- hey wait, come back! i just wanna talk!

wow. oh well, sya

oh shit i am awesome and my penis is flaming hot. no rly my penis is burning right now. does anybody have a cup of water? k thx bai

haha sike. or... whatever 1... 2... 3.... GO !!!
DUDE!!!! GO GO GO FLOOR IT MAN!!!! AWW SHIT HE AIN'T MOVIN' OH COME ON!!!!!

and psycho rocket breaks into the lead

WUSH

Previous subject: "wow this is.... AMAZING !!!!!"

LOOK EVERYBODY! I MADE A NEWSPOST! THIS IS THE HAPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! YAY!

this is my very first newspost. hooray

============================

oh yeah. i almost forgot. i saw this boy that was holding a stick and he kept collecting stix & stuff and he kept giving them to a litle girl and they whent to play catch and stuff wow that was crazy

(ok, now i'm just messing up shit)

these are my best newsposts:

screw... THE LAW.
the milk has spoiled once again.
omg my head blew up this morning
hmmm... no new ideas are coming anymore.
some dudes told me to go to this company down the street
can't i have just ONE cookie?
some strange weather is going down
someone put spoildmilk in my pocket...
it's good to be back!
i am showing my penis out in public right now!
time for spoildmilk to obey the rules
yet another humorous comic made by spoildmilk
i hope this poem will make you smile
the heroic adventures of Mr. Invincible! (and his sidekick Shell)

============================

2010/12/21 This has become my official interesting stuff dump post. Wheee

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BBS Battle Royale Chapter One-"Setting Traps"

The year is 2006. It's a rough year for NG. The Flash Portal had fallen into disrepair, the BBS had lost most of it's reasonable posters, and on top of that, the traffic of NG shrunk dramitcally. With the money made from Alien Hominid, and the forced release of Dad & Me, NG had enough money to make NG more well known. So the admins had a conference in England.

liljim- We have enough money to broadcast NG greatly. But how do we market our site to an even greater extent?

Tom- We could always do commercials.

Wade- That's too common. How many people do you know actually like commercials?

liljim- We can have NG logos put up in movies.

Tom- Who'd pay attention to that?

Wade- Well...we do have enough money to make our own channel for cable/digital T.V.

liljim- Yes, we do, but that alone just doesn't seem all that appealing.

Tom- What if we had shows that would show people how to make flashes?

Wade- Sounds good, but it wouldn't be a guranteed that they would come to NG because of that.

liljim- I don't know what to do then.

Tom- I just got an idea!

Wade- What?

liljim- Yes, what do you have planned?

Tom- We can make that channel, but make it even more interesting than possible. Let's make the users that already come to NG adverise us.

Wade- What are you getting at?

liljim- What kind've angle are we talking about?

Tom- BBS Battle Royale. We take about 50 members or so from NG that post, and stick them on an island to kill each other. Think of how much traffic we'll get.

Wade- Yeah, I understand. I got an idea that'll bring in even more money. We can have people bet to see who lives and dies. There can only be one winner right?

liljim- Yes, only one winner. We could set up cameras all over the island, and make it a 24 hour televised event. And every three hours, a results poll will show up for people to make there bets.

Tom- There is already one problem with this.

Wade- Yeah, the dead, right?

liljim- We have nothing to worry about. Since the users are advertising for us, for every dead person that belonged to a family, we'll send them $800,000.

Tom- This will be worldwide. Think of the ratings we'll bring in. Giving off that much money won't be a big deal.

Wade- For the person who wins, what does he/she recieve?

liljim- How does ten million U.S. dollars sound?

Tom- I wonder what good it would do for the person? Sanity would be too broken to enjoy, at least that's what I would think.

Wade- Then it's settled. All we need to do is think of a way to get the BBS users to do this, to be apart of it, with no questions asked.

liljim- I have an idea. Remember that Mod Meetup thread you put up a few months back?

Wade- Yes.

liljim- And remember how so many people wanted to be apart of it?

Wade- Yes.

liljim- What if were to make a thread called "The Real BBS User Meetup"? Where all you have to do is sign to be apart of this "Free Trip" to meet up with other users.

Tom- That's brilliant! How do we pull it off effectively?

Wade- Easy, so many people are obsessed with their post count, right? Why not make it something like "All you have to do is get 300 posts within a week to qualify". "By then you will automatically get an E-mail confirming that you've met your goal, reply back to the E-mail with your address and a jet will pick you up and take you to the destination."

liljim- Bloody brilliant!

Tom- Well, let's get this plan under way.

Wade- It was nice meeting you again liljim.

liljim- It was all my pleasure. Have a safe trip across the pond.

One week later, Wade posted up the winners that'll be going to the BBS user meetup. These people are...

1. DaSadGirl
2. SSG
3.TheBoneThug
4. M-A-R-C-U-S
5. the_phantom_16
6. Britkid
7. Zen_Gaijin
8. Sarai
9. Seizure_Dog <By Sarai's request
10. Mr. Pope
11. Crashman
12. Mustache_Man
13. Chip_Pan_Man
14. The_Green_Kirton
15. Kaabi
16. FatBoyBillyBob
17. SiCcMaDe
18. Chumbawamba
19. -Rule-
20. NGCA
21 -King_Nothing-
22. supa_sag
23. rottenmyscabies
24. seventy-one
25. Minion777
26. Lost_Chances
27. -Dick_Dastardly-
28. Sanjay
29. PsychoMonkeyParade
30. theabominablematt
31. Donthurtme
32. protege-moi
33. Break_the_Silence
34. auronYRP
35. ViciousDave
36. MFProd
37. BareNakedMike
38. Thunder_Joe
39. Chaos_Mage
40. GrahamJones
41. Mast3rMind
42. -shake-
43. Andersson
44. Indian_Wrestler
45. BlueFlameSkulls
46. Re-Spawn
47. -Mitsubishi-
48. -Canas-
49. Daschimp
50. XwaynecoltX
51. JackRabbitStudios
52. 2ndPrize
53. -Dawkins-

You see the names on Mast3rMind's computer screen as you see the user himself seat back in relaxation and says...

Mast3rMind- Wow, out of all things to win, I for one didn't expect to win this. I mean hell, I don't win shit. I guess it'll be cool seeinng the other NG users. I wonder what's going to be like?

Meanwhile....

Wade- Hey bro, are you sure you want to do this? Because once this starts, we can't stop.

Tom- I'm sure. The people of NG brought this on themselves, so why not have them pay for it? Right?

Wade- Ok then.

Back to Mast3rMind's apartment....

Mast3rMind- The note said to wait outside my apartment building at 10:00 A.M. It's going on 9:59 A.M.

All of a sudden you see a huge jet fly across the horizon and drop in from of Mast3rMind's apartment building.

Mast3rMind- Man, that is one big ass jet!

Pilot- Are you Mast3rMind?

Mast3rMind- Yes-

Pilot- Alright then. Get aboard, you were the last person on my route that needed to be picked up.

Mast3rMind gets on the jet to see at least ten other people. There are "I am" post it on the people, so it's easy to know who's who.

Sarai- Hey Mast3rMind, what's up?

Mast3rMind- Hey, how's everyone doing. Zen_Gaijin, holding it down. -Canas-, I barely know you, TheBoneThug, what's up, Britkid, ViciousDave, and the rest of you.

-Dawkins- It's hard to believe that we've won. It just seems so fishy.

Sarai- What do you mean? We all won fair and square, what's to be afraid of?

-Canas- I don't know, but I'm getting pretty damn sleepy.

Mast3rMind- Come on, this is exiting, how could you be..*Yawn* sleepy?

Everyone on the jet begins to fade into sleep. People are trying to fight it off, but it's not working. They wake up hours later in house. Wade walks in.

Wade- Welcome to the first of day hell.

End of Chapter One

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BBS Battle Royale Chapter Two- "Wanna Play?"

In a house with over fifty people sprawled out on a hard wood floor, people are waking up to realize that Wade is in front of the room. Waiting patiently for them to wake up. Mass confusion clouds up the room, with only a little fear to be felt among themselves.

Wade- Welcome to the first of day hell. I call it day hell because during the day, it's simply hot as hell, you know? AC is a good thing.

The room is speechless.

Wade- Ha ha ha. Come on now, don't tell me that I;m the only one that's going to make discussion? Oh well, maybe it's better this way. Oh! I think I know why most of you are silent, you want to know what you're doing here, right? Well, for one thing, I didn't lie to you. This is a NG user meet up, it is that indeed. One that'll be talked about for years.

A person raises his hand, taunting for a question.

Wade- Hmmm, yes Chumbawamba.

Chumbawamba- What the fuck is thing around out necks.

Wade- That's the collar. It's to keep track of all of you, and to make sure that you don't get any funny ideas. Any other questions?

Another hand is raised

Wade- Yes Crashman?

Crashman- We're not here for a normal meet up, are we?

Wade- That's right, you people here aren't. You are all here to make NG some money, make us known all over the world to bring in traffic. I believe another question is in order here.

Another hand is raised

Wade- Yes, Chip_Pan_Man

Chip_Pan_Man- I want to go home.

Wade- You can, if you can kill everyone else here.

The room is now filled with people in complete shock of what Wade has just said.

Chip_Pan_Man- No, you can't do that!

Wade- Umm, I actually I can. Amazing huh? Remember all the things you had to sign to make sure that you could be here? There were some things listed there that all of you missed. You guys signed for the time of your lifes. Ha ha ha!

Chip_Pan_Man- No, fuck you! I ain't killing nobody!

Wade- You so sure about that? You either cooperate, or not live to see another day. What's your pleasure?

Chip_Pan_Man sits idle in deep thought. He remains quiet now sensing that Wade is not playing around.

Wade- Now that I don't see anymore hands in the air, I can explain what the deal is, and everything to a reasonable extent. The collars have already been explained, but there is an added incentive to them. We will have danger zones on this island. If you are in the danger for more than ten second, you can say goodbye to your head. Ha ha ha! Talk about a new meaning of BLAM! Ha ha ha!

SNORE!

Wade- Hmmm..someone's sleeping on this discussion of knowledge huh? SiCcMaDe, is it? So, you wanna sleep in on this? Fine by me, I'd just hate to disturb you.

Wade reaches into his pocket and pulls out a remote, then presses the buttons "1" and "7" setting off SiCcMaDe's collar.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

SiCcMaDe- Yawn..what's going on?

Wade- So now you want to wake up. Go back to sleep, for good!

SiCcMaDe- Huh?!

BLAM!! SiCcMaDe's whole head is blown off from his body sending parts everywhere.

SiCcMaDe has been eliminated. 52 remain

-Rule- Holy fucking shit!

Lost_Chances- Holy shit!

2ndprize- Oh shit!

Wade- *Ahem! Clears throat* Now that I have your attention. This island is completly unihabited. There is so much space to hide. Feel free to hide in any house you find or whatever. For an island, this place is quite urban, so some of you will feel right at home. Well, without the hot bath and your parents and blah blah, you get the picture.

Mast3rMind- *Thinking to himself* This is complete bullshit. I'm on an island. I should be chilling with TheBoneThug, Zen_Gaijin, Sarai and others, but they want me to kill? This has to be some fucked up dream.

Wade- Escape by water is impossible. We have life guards placed out there ready to pummel lead into your asses. I think I may have said enough. Many of you are catching the point here. You will recieve a bag. It will include your weapon, some food, and other necessities.

Mast3rMind- *Still thinking to himself* How the hell can I make this work? Maybe I can gather enough people to start a resistance. But who can I truly trust, when I only know these people on the internet? This is truly fucking with my mind.

Wade- There can only be one winner. Remember that. Let's get this underway, shall we? User number one DaSadGirl, step right up and get your belongings.

Mast3rMind- *Still thinking to himself* This is no good, most of the people I know will be out there before me! Who can I trust, who can other people trust?!

An hour passes and Mast3rMind is finally called. He walks outside. No one is there. He reaches into his bag to find...

Mast3rMind- What the fuck?! A butter knife?! What the hell am I going to do with this? Tickle someone's ass with it?! Never mind that, I gotta find Sarai and the others.

He starts walking around the island, minutes fly by and he hears not one thing going on, he doesn't see any dead bodies. An hour passes and nothing but peace has been around. Mast3rMind decides to rest when all of a sudden supa_sag comes from out of nowhere with a Katana charging in on Mast3rMind.

He swings and misses badly.

Mast3rMind- Hey! Hold up! Wait a minute, maybe we can team up and find other people to help...

supa_sag- Help?! Help what?! The fact that we sealed our fate on this god forsaken island?! Noooo! I won't hear it! I won't hear none of this! With everyone I kill, the closer I come to going on home! Oh home, oh home sweet home.

He begins to swing violently now as he begins to drool. He has slipped into insanity now. Mast3rMind dodges the swing, rolls, and grabs his butter knife.

Mast3rMind- Fuck this!

He throws his butter knife and it goes right through supa_sag's eye. While supa_sag was down, Mast3rMind took his chance to grab the Katana and run.

Mast3rMind- Yoink!

supa_sag- My eye! My fucking eye.

Voice- Let me do something to take your mind off that pain.

Arms come from behind supa_sag neck to only break is neck flawlessly.

*CRACK!*

The voice just happens to belong to BareNakedMike.

BareNakedMike- It's going to be a long day.

Meanwhile, you see Sarai and auronYRP hiding in a house.

auronYRP- I'm glad I found someone I could trust. I mean, you're a girl.

Sarai pulls out here dagger and stabs him in the throat.

Sarai- Yeah, I'm a girl, a girl that's playing for keeps.

End Chapter

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