lotsofpain 2010-07-26 13:56:19

your penis is flaming hot? mine is too, even though it's not burning.

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:12:45

my penis just burns up sometimes for no reason, though.

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:13:51

i just sit in front of the TV, and suddenly, it gets really hot around my dick.

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:14:23

then, when i slip of my undies, i notice that there's a huge flame all over my dick!

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:16:28

i think it does that because of a scientificly explainable reason. you see, i always watch only porn on tv. and because of that, my penis keeps standing up inside my undies and rubbing against my underpants and my dry pubic hair, causing friction, which turns into sparks, and catching fire.

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:17:17

that's why, before watching porn on tv, i either have to take of my undies, or lube up my whole dick.

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:17:56

but i kinda like when my penis burns, so i don't take precautions against it burning up.

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:20:22

it gives such a warm and tingly feeling... that's why, when i want some pleasure for me and my dick, i poor some gasolene on my dick, grab a lighter, and let the flames do all the work!

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:21:07

this method also gets rid of your pubic hair quicker that shaving it. try it, it's amazing!

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:22:42

sometimes, though, the flames spread quicker that i ecpect and soon, my whole body starts burning. so make sure that you have called the firemen before you've burned up your sausage.

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:24:01

my huge dick is usually dry, but sometimes, when i do something i really, REALLY like, it gets a little moist and sweatty.

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:25:26

i also like playing games with my dick. there are so many! would you like to knowsome of the games i play with my cock?

lotsofpain 2010-07-29 16:30:33

i like to rub it against things. i rub it against my dog, my table, my ruler, my tv, my keyboard, my books, my windows, my floor boards, my carpets, my cactus, my fridge, my sandwitches, my cupcakes, and sometimes my wall. pretty fun, huh?

lotsofpain 2010-07-30 06:13:44

another fun game is to shake my cock. shake it real good.

lotsofpain 2010-07-30 06:15:34

when i take a bath, i sit down on the side of the bath tub, and slowly pour some shampoo on my sausage. it feels so good, but pouring shampoo on my balls is even better.

lotsofpain 2010-07-30 06:19:19

that reminds me of a fun penis joke. so, a guy says to another guy: have u got a cock? and the other guy says: yes, i DO have a cock! LOL, WASN'T THAT AWESOME?!?!?!

lotsofpain 2010-07-30 06:21:13

yo, dude, that reminded me about a really awesome thing about my dick.

lotsofpain 2010-07-30 06:21:44

my dick is... is... IS... cool. LOLOLOLOLOL

lotsofpain 2010-07-30 06:24:22

also, that reminded me of ANOTHER cool thing about my dick. my dick is red. like a red colored pencil. also, red like a flame even red like hell. the flames on my dick makes it look like a demon from hell.

lotsofpain 2010-07-30 06:28:50

but, it also is green. green like an envious gay man, like a lime, like grass, like a leaf, like a cucumber, or a pickle... man, when i imagine that my dick is a pickle, i just want to bite that sucker clean off...