[at the park]
- hello sir
- hello dear boy
- can i have that snickers of yours for 5 bucks?
- dear god! are you kidding? i will only sell it for 1000 cookies.
- dude! what the f**k?
- well than go get them at a bank or something
- sh*t!
[at the bank]
- hello, can i get a loan of 1000 cookie
- are you joking?
- no, i need 1000 cookies!
- are you crazy? cookies aren't even a currency!
- sh*t!
[at the bakery]
- uh, can i have 1000 cookies?
- are you sure you want that many?
- yes, i'm sure, what do i look like, some f*g?
- ok, here's 1000 cookies. that would be 750 dollars, thank you
- are you f**king crazy?! 750 dollars?! do i look like i'm secretly printing money at home?!
- no cash, no cookies!
- sh*t!
[at the playground]
- hello, toddlers. can i have 1000 cookies?
- i haf one!
- that's a rock, you d*ck sh*t toddler!
- WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
- OMG! stop crying! you're giving me a headache!
- WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
- sh*t!
[at the cookie factory]
- can i have 1000 cookies, dear fellow?
- 1000 cookies?! what do i look like, a cookie factory?!
- no, but you make cookies AT a cookie factory
- oh, i guess you have a point. here you go kid, one cookie. but don't tell anyone i gave it to ya
- 1 cookie? but i need 1000 cookie!
- sorry kid, i am not allowed to steal from the country's supply of delicious cookies
- sh*t!
[at the park]
- ok, you f**king f*g, i wasn't able to get your f**king 1000 cookies
- then go back and get them!
- NO WAY! i'm stealing that snickers!
[grabs chocolate]
- OH DEAR GOD! this is a mars! ewwww I HATE THEM! SH*T!

why hello, and welcome to accistant murder company. what would you like to do today?

KILL MYSELF

OMG! are you sure?!

YES.

but, do you really whant to kill yourself?

YES.

oh no! well, i give you a chance. say no!

YES.

yes to what? saying "no" or about killing yourself?

YES.

wha?

YES.

ah, forget this. just don't kill yourself man, its the wrong thing to do!

I WANNA KILL MYSELF.

NO NO NO! please say no! you can't do this!

I AM NEVER GOING TO SAY NO TO KILLING MYSELF.

ok smart guy, it says on my contract that if you kill yourself, i loose my job! are you sure that you whant to go on?

YES.

OH COME ON! life is beautiful, why are you trying to end it?!

JUST SHUT UP.

F**K THIS DUDE! IF YOU KILL YOURSELF YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE, SO SPARE BOTH OF OUR LIFES!!! STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!!

NO.

F**K, DUDE!!! plz plz plz don't do this! think about others!!!

NO.

man, this is getting BORING. please stop or... i will kill your familly!

CHA CHA. DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.

OH NO NO NO NO NO YOU CAN'T KILL YOURSELF I SWARE BY GOD THAT I WILL STOP YOU FROM KILLING YOURSELF!!!

YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING.

i will stop you even if it means... KILLING MYSELF!!!

DON'T BE FOOLISH.

ok ok ok... but think about it! if you kill yourself... you will never be able to win a milion bucks at a lottery!

I HAVE ALLWAYS HAD BAD LUCK.

ok... you talked me into it... here's a knife... but i will only give it to you if you swear not to kill yourself!

SCREW THIS, GIVE ME THE F**KING KNIFE.

NEVER!!! I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU A TOOL THAT YOU CAN USE TO KILL YOURSELF!!!

GIVE ME THAT KNIFE RIGHT NOW.

sure... here you go....

FINALY![stab]

OH SH*T!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!! CALL THE MEDICAL SERVICES!!! CALL AN AMBULANCE!!! A MAN IS ON THE FLOOR AND IS BLEEDING!!! SOMEBODY HELP!!!

HEY, WTF! THIS KNIFE IS MADE OUT OF PLASTIC! DO YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE?!

yes, infact i think it is. ummm... do you still want to kill yourself?

F**K YOU! AND F**K THIS KNIFE! I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!

phew... he left... HE LEFT... YES! I WIN! I AM THE GREATEST!

... i just can't figure out ONE thing. i know that i am a bastard, and you are a retard but why is the bitch missing?

oh shit that guy just came out of the store with steroids. i should ask him...
...why is he sooooo sexy.
um, EXUSE ME?!...
ah nothing. PENIS!
ok...

... and then, he lifted up her ass and he MASHED MASHED MASHED MASHED MASHED IT

OMG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST WROTE THAT!!!!

if i could meet you, i would pick up a knife and stick it in your stomach too kill you instantly... then, slice open your head with a meat cleaver, grab your brain and open a restorant to serve your cooked brain with salt and butter... then, i would peal open your skin and suck upon your very veins... after, i think i would rip out your lungs and feed them to my pet dog fluffy... then, i would chop off your arms with an axe, and chew on them for a while... after that, i would cut you in half with a chainsaw, take out your kidneys and chop them with a schythe... then, i would rip out your liver with a spear, hang it with a hook, and let the little children at the playground poke it with sticks... and, after all that, i would burn your corpse and salvage some of your bones by keeping them in my basement for the rest of my life...

chill out, i'm only joking. i would actually give your corpse as a present to my uncle. hehe...

man am i pissed tonight i mean COME ON

those bastards from tv took away my favorite show!

and i don't even know why.

plz kill me cuz i'm soooo bored

oh, so now you DO whant to kill me?!

you are SUCH a trader! and after all those good times we had together...

you should be happy your not here with me, cuz i would take a huge crap, put all of the shit in a sock and then STUFF IT INSIDE YOUR ASS

you're laughing huh? or is that fear...

yes, i can feel fear in your laughter...

it feeds my soul...

it gives me energy i can use to control your mind when you're asleep... and then... WUSH! THERE'S A KNIFE IN STUCK IN YOUR BODY!!!!!!!!

omg that sounds sick...

but enjoyable at the same time! for me...

you know, i can find out where you live by reading your mind with my necromantic powers...

the spirits from inside the penis tell me i should kill your familly! oh wait, that's just piss coming out... i have to go to the bathroom

guess what guys, i just returned from the hospital where they fixed my brain. i neaded a brain transplant or something ah, i can't renember. and i also found out that my brain damage was caused by me sleep walking. and also, me leaving the window at night. ouch.

anyway, my friend came by and said i need to get out more cuz of my mansion, car(full sized) and a rocket that i made out of toothpicks. yeah i know, it's amazing. its actually because of my new brain, now i can think a lot faster. the doctors said that it belonged to a scientist, frankenstein or whatever.

- hello, goose.
- quak quak
- yeah, i kno.

- hey.
- hahahah! i knew that you would say that!

i just felt the lack of ideas in my mind. i think my brain is broken. i will check for any damage. anyways, i just returned from the garbage container. yeah, i know it was very shitty.

- hey.
- hey, why do you said hey?
- because you suck!
- don't you fuck with my mind
- fuck you!
- aaaaahhhhh..... how dare you, peasant?!
[takes out penis]
- omg he has a penis!
- i do! penis, shoot (penis) some (penis) piss (penis) at (penis) him (penis)!
[during the shooting]
- omg you bastards will never take me! penis! activate warp speed! [WUSH]
- WOW, where did he go?

- hello.
- ...
- uhhh... hey!
- hello!
- sup?
- hey? i thought you said hello...
- wtf are you talking about?
- ah, nothin, you?
- okay...
- what do you mean by that?
- that's it, whats wrong with you?!
- okay then.
- i don't get it, is your mind stuck or something?
- nothing's wrong with me, why would you suggest it?
- dude, if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything.
- stuck? what do you mean by "stuck"?
- SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY !!!
- i will try to renember that phrase...
- dude, are you a complete idiot?!
- what did i say?
- give me a gun so that i could just shoot you...
- no, maybe YOU are?
- if i actually HAD a gun, i would shoot you in the dick...
- mine is made out of plastic and you can't shoot with it, and anyway, i don't want you touching it.
- SEROUSLY?!
- what?!
- stop screwing with my MIND, dickweed !
- um...

- hey.
- hey? hey?! you just stole 20 bucks from my pocket and you say hey?!
- wha?
- you dumbass, give me my 20 bucks.
- go suck a dick.
- oh, so now your trying to piss me off, huh?
- you already smell like warm piss, dickweed.
- go take off your portable dick and suck your balls, k?
- just like you do?
- ok, now your just being stupid.
- yah.
- well, duh
______________________________________

- hey.
- hey. why are you in your underware this morning?
- well, this really cools off my legs. try it, it's amazing!
- ok, i will. (takes off his pants) you were right this is refreshing!
- haha, told ya! hey, let's go to that restorant overthere!
- sure.
[at the restorant]
- omg, a sheat covered table coool
- let's sit down.
- soft!
- AHHHHH!!!!! someone touched my legs.
- OMG, MINE TOO!!!
[a voice comz out off under the table]
- holy shit, you legz feel nice.... i could keep on scratching them forever....
- scratch near the ballz, ok?
- k. omg, you have thick balls made out of steel and wraped in iron!
- wtf?
- nothin.
- well then, keep scratching. uh... uuuuhh... that feels goooood.....
- i scratch good, yes? wait a minute... WAIT JUST A DARN MINUTE!!! OMG YOUR DICK IS MADE OUT OF PLASTIC!!!!!
- what?! no it isn't, and why did you squized it in the first place?!
- uhhhh.... no reason. oooh, you have soft skin around the ballz, do you wax it a lot?
- stop touching my.... special place!!!
- k. oooh, your asshole feels dry... haven't shit out any greasey poop, lately, huh?
- omg, you're a freak!
- whatever. hey, your legz are so smoooooth..... they've been polished!

hello. today, my name is spoildmilk. tomorrow, it will be.... freshmilk. maybe.

- hi.
- hello. do i know you?
- no.
- ummm.... ok....
- k.
______________________________________

- hey.
- hey. sup.
- nothin, hey do you wanna put your pants back on now?
______________________________________

- oooooooh yeah...
- i agree! that was fun!
- no, its just that i'm looking at your boobs
______________________________________

- wow! a shooting star!
- huh?
- nothing. keep sucking my penis.
______________________________________

- ahh ahh ahhh ahh ahhh ahh ahh ahh...
- oooh yeah oooh yeah oooooh YEAH
- oh hunny, maybe we shouldn't be doing this in the car?...
- no. this is... oooh yeah gooood... gooooood....
______________________________________

- dude, hold here for a minute. i gotta go to the bathroom.
*[at the bathroom]*
- ahhhhh. that is muuuuuuch better.
*[a voice comes out of the toilet]*
- hey, did you drink cheap soda or somethin? i mean, eeewwww
- uh.... excuse me?
- blarg, your piss tastes like egg salad and blood. you should realy see a doctor...
- omg, are you a talking toilet?
- um, no. i'm a guy that fell down here a couple of weeks ago and now i must drink other ppl's piss to survive. but i can't drink you stinkin piss, cuz it is disgusting liquid
- well, i can't help it that my piss tastes disgusting. i don't care if its gross or not cuz i don't drink it
- well, you should. blarg. less 4 me then.
______________________________________

- omg!
- what is it?
- i haven't jerked off for like 10 minutes i have to go

well, that is all folks. see you later.
(oh and pick the dialogue you liked the most k thx bai)

Today, Timmy is screwing the law. (yay, story time!)

Timmy was pissed off one day. when he woke up, he broke the bed by jumping on it. then, he spit all over the house. but, on top of it all, he took... the last piece of pie from YOUR fridge. yes, Timmy was mad. why? no one knows >:(.
Then, after Timmy practicly destroyed his house and his parents were pissed, Timmy went outside to play. the playground at Timmy's litle school was full of kids. Timmy was being a total asshole by not sharing his ball, then, he pushed a 3 year old of the swings and he pissed all over the jungle jim so that no kidz would climb it. a jerk was he.
Then, Timmy went to the park. the benches were ocupied by other ppl. Timmy did not like that. he threw his chewed up gum at them. after they left, Timmy went to kick some trees and stomp on some flowers. after Timmy was done being mad as hell, somebody called da police. Timmy ran away from the park.
In the afternoon, Timmy went to the store. there, he pushed low prised marsmallows off the shelfs, stole some stuff and kicked some ppl. unfortunetly, Timmy was kicked out the store.
When the day was almost over, Timmy terrorized the neighbourhood. making prank calls, delivering pizzas to other homes, and stealing mail. the neighbours were pissed and threw Timmy in his garden. Timmy was angry at the neighbours for doing that. Timmy will get his revenge someday.
When it was time for bed, Timmy kept turning the light back on, making noise, and burning the carpet. Timmy was grounded for the next 2 months because of his stunts. and so, Timmy ended up being an idiot.

the moral of this story is: don't screw the law.