What's the maximum capacity for newsposts? 999?

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

She takes shitting into a new level. She only takes a dump once in two days, but when she does, the shit explodes out of her ass like crazy. While she wears her white briefs, the shit rips them apart in a second. Once she needed to go to the bathroom real bad, but she didn't make it and the shit ripped her jeans and piled up on the pavement. It was really awesome seeing a hot chick's pant being ripped apart by the power of her ass.

There's my comic. It's pretty cool.

PREVIOUSLY, ON AWESOME AS FUCK ZOMBIE STORY:

hey dude, me and nick totally went to the police station. guess what? a bunch o' cops shootin' up a bunch o' zombies there, pretty mad party. so mah friend nick was shooting up zombies n' shit and he was knocked out and this cop saved him and after that he ran inside the police station, he was gone for a while so they send me to check on him but oh my god a zombie bit him n' shit they both ganged up me it was so shit. good thing a fire axe came to my rescue. there were a bunch o' zombies down stairs so we decided to run away from the police station. FOREVERRRRR

more as the story continues...

--------------------------------------

and so, we ran into the street, trying to get away from hundreds of zombies.

"damn!! they're catching up!!" - the sniper said, while shooting them with a glock 17.

luckily, we managed to get away. We found shelter in an empty donut store.

"any zombies here?" - i asked.

"not anymore!" - said nick as he came back downstairs.

"fuck, we can't keep running away. we need to make this base the strongest base in the city." - the sniper said.

"a donut shop?" - i replied.

"hmm... good point. let's go downtown to find a good base like an office building or a supermarket."

that this is 100th post?!?!?!?!!?!!?!!!

god damnit. now i have to post something really special for all you horny shits.

let's start with a happy smiley:

:D

WOOOOHOOOO that was some awesome shit right there. hey, have you red any good poems lately? here's one.

TRICKED YA! it's actually a poem.

just this very morning,
i went to the toilet down the hall,
taking a shit i was planning,
but when i opened the door i saw...

a disgusting stranger,
i'm going to bawl...
he was stroking his penis...
and then he came on the wall!!

i told him: get out!
he was farting and farting
he replied: what are you talking about?
taking a shit he has started

when i finally hit,
him on the head
i look at his shit
and i took it on my bed

his shit was full of glory!
i wanted to fuck...
the turd i was adoring!
so i pulled out my dick...

it was very hard
and spewing semen
and then i fucked it.

it was very hard
it was very har
it was very ha
it was very h
it was very
it was ver
it was ve
it was v
it was
it wa
it w
it
i

ok. now that that's cleared up, i have 31,667 characters right now.

i just discovered a stranger in my toilet. he was stroking his erect penis and takin' a shit. then he came on my wall. then he came onto me. then he came in my mouth. the he jumped out and came in my mouth the he took a shit in my mouth. then he fuckin fucked my face and jizzed in my throat. that's why this is the worst day in my life.

meanwhile, the bank of spoildmilk where they keep cartons of spoiled milk i dunno HAS JUST BEEN ROBBED!!! who could have done this?!

"it was none other than i!!! AIDS man!!! and my henchmen, the STD brothers have been sent to assassinate spoildmilk! you will no longer be the richest man on earth without your precious MILK!!!
WHICH IS SPOILED!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!" - says the evil AIDS man!

"we'll see, you fuckin' piece of fuckin' pissed on shit!" - mighty spoildmilk says "get ready... get set... push THE BUTTon!!!"

and spoildmilk pushed the butt of a really hot chick. but this is no ordinary ass! it summons the heroic PENIS MAN!!! and his trusty sidekick WIENER BOY!!!

"what seems to be the problem, spoildmilk sir?" - nuff (by nuff i mean wiener boy) said

"that fuckin' asshole shit ass fucker AIDS man has stole my most prized possessions!!! MAH SPOILAD MILKY!!!!"

"we'll thwart AIDS man faster than you can say "juicy tits", sir!" - says penis man while stroking his penis.

PENIS MAN AND WIENER BOY AWAY!!!! WOOOSH!!!

"hurry up, boys! my precious milky is in danger!!" - spoildmilk says, while grabbing a hot chick's huge and i mean fucking huge tits!

and so, it's penis man and wiener boy vs the STD brothers!!!

penis man gets and erection! ONE OF THE STD BROTHERS NOTICE IT! LOOK OUT, PENIS MAN! while he's trying to shove penis man's erect cock in his mouth, wiener boy uses his penis laser to brutally rip his head off. penis man then starts fucking wiener boy.

"penis man, let go of me and kill the STD brother!"

"oh, right!!!" - penis man the licks his finger, and rubs it against his dick hole. MEGA CUM SHOT RIPS APART STD BROTHER!!! his blood is all over the place.

"you see kids, cum shots can be dangerous like fuck!" - educational message to kids by penis man

AND SUDDENLY, AIDS MAN JUMPS OUT OF NOWHERE AND RAPES WIENER BOY killing him of course BECAUSE AIDS MAN'S PENIS IS TOO BIG FOR WIENER BOY

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YYOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU KILLED WIENER BOY!!! I WAS PLANNING TO RAPE HIM THIS EVENING AND YOU RUINED IT!!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS"

"COME AND GET ME, PENIS MAN!!!"

AIDS man uses his penis collar on penis man!

"STRAP THIS ON FOR SIZE!!! HAHAHAH!!!"

the collar zaps penis man's mighty penis!!!

"noooo!!! i was the source of all my pow-power..." "shit..."

while suddenly, TITS BITCH, a hot chick with GIANT TITS comes out of nowhere and rips penis man's penis collar off, setting him free!

"k thx, tits bitch!! wanna sex?"

"you can insert your penis into my vagina later, penis man. there's some AIDS that need fucking up!!"

"YOU WON'T FUCKIN' FUCK ME UP, FUCKERS!!!" - AIDS man laughs and whips out his dick. SLASH!!! SLASH!!! SLASH!!! tits bitch moans with pleasure as AIDS man whips her juicy ass.

"YOU FUCKER, LET HER GO!!!" - screams penis man as he gets an erection from looking at tits bitches tits. "WAIT, change of plans!!!"

"WHAT CHANGE OF PLANS?!?!?!?!" - yells AIDS man as he whips a gorgeous ass

"you can fucking fuck tits bitch, and i'll cum in her mouth while you do that, deal?

"WHAT AN EVIL PLAN!!! LET'S DO IT!!!"

"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!" -tits bitch screams as penis man shoves his dick her throat and AIDS man shoves his dick up her pussy.

and so, AIDS man fucked tits bitch for a while and forgave penis man for raping his son and he gave back my oops i mean spoildmilk's spoiled milk and everything was ok. FOR NOWWW BECAUSE ASS SHIT, THE GUY WITH THE HUGE ASS WHO SHITS OUT GIANT SHIT HAS JUST ESCAPED FROM FUCKING PRISON!!!

***

we interrupt this kid's cartoon to bring you some really important news

hey! only 27,692 characters remaining. isn't it nice that i'm quiting before i can fill up all this empty space? bye.

100 is the number of my posts.

TRICKED YA! it's actually a poem.

just this very morning,
i went to the toilet down the hall,
taking a shit i was planning,
but when i opened the door i saw...

a disgusting stranger,
i'm going to bawl...
he was stroking his penis...
and then he came on the wall!!

i told him: get out!
he was farting and farting
he replied: what are you talking about?
taking a shit he has started

when i finally hit,
him on the head
i look at his shit
and i took it on my bed

his shit was full of glory!
i wanted to fuck...
the turd i was adoring!
so i pulled out my dick...

it was very hard
and spewing semen
and then i fucked it.

<clearing throat>

PREVIOUSLY, ON ZOMBIE STORY:

dude i went outside and like saw this dead wow that was weird so i went out. wee, i saw my friend! so he was just chilling at this alley and like out of nowhere, he told there was a zombie apocalypse happenin'! i was like: woh, dude. nice. so we decided to find shelter. we went to the police station!
also it's a good thing that mah friend wasn't eaten by a zombie who attacked us while we were walking there.

more as the story continues...

--------------------------------------

so, when we got to the police station before the zombies did, we found 3 men, defending the police station. they were cops. we tried to take out the zombies from the side, but then a dozen of them moved to our direction after nick shot one of them in the head. the weren't exactly fast, but there were dozens of them.

"we won't get them all, you run to the police station, i'll shoot as many as i can!!"

"no! you won't make it!!"

"i have a better chance with a gun!! you just run!!"

i ran to the police station like a madman. the cops noticed me and almost shot me, but one of them said: "don't shoot, it's too fast to be one of those things!"

"you gotta help my friend, he's over there!" - i said, pointing at nick.

"don't worry, i'll go get him!" - one of the coppers said.

that's when it seemed hopeless for nick. two zombies made their way to him as he was lying down unconscious, after one of the zombie took his baseball bat and hit him with it in his head. luckily, the cop shotguned his way threw about 20 zombies, grabbed nick, put him on his shoulder, and cleared the whole street of zombies.

"i'm out of ammo!" - he said when he ran back to the others and put nick down.

"there's plenty in the storage chamber, make a run for it, more of them are coming!"

the man ran into the building, and then i saw that the hoard of zombies we evaded earlier was coming. it seemed that they were ordered by someone to attack this police station. or maybe it was an act of strategy? either way, there were hundreds of them, and they were headed right to us. that's when nick woke up.

"wha-what happened?" - he said.

"you were knocked out by zombies, but one of these guys saved you."

"that's what we do. we're the last surviving cops in this police station. the others ran away from terror when the zombies were braking our windows, others were bitten. we already lost a brave soul to those flesh eaters. we cleared the building of them, and made this our base where we plan to survive through these attacks. and we're not just thinking of only surviving for as long as we can. we contacted the government, and they have sent a few choppers over here. they should be here any second."

"phew, best thing i've heard all day..." - i said with relief.

"hey kid, you were pretty good there defending against zombie, despite the getting knocked out thing." - the other one said, while he was shooting zombies. he looked like a sniper.

"ugh, don't remind me..." - he said, with a weak voice.

"well, i think you should grab an Uzi and be a defender against the living dead." - the first cop said

"great! when can i start?"

"right... about... now!!" - he yelled, and threw an Uzi into nick's hands.

thats when a zombie started running (slowly, but still, it was considered running) toward us, roaring like crazy. nick blew his brains out with a few shots, shouting.

"wow! this is pretty cool! but do you have anything for my friend here?"

"i think i have a job for you. since your hands are free, could you bring a few boxes here from the storage room? our friend seems to be having trouble finding it."

"sure. i'll be back her in a minute."

i went into the police station. the desks were put together to make a wall for defense, incase the zombies invaded the building. there were also a bunch of rotting corpses all over the floor, so it looks like they already have. i walked into a hallway on the left, then walked up the stairs to the second floor. there were many rooms there. suddenly, i heard silent, slow footsteps. i walked into a room, only to see him, on the floor, bleeding. a zombie has already gotten to him. it was somewhere in the building, and i was defenseless. i tried to find anything i could use to escape, but all the crates in this room were filled with ammo.

"son of a bitch, isn't there any weapon here?!" - i let out a yell.

then, when i thought that i could make a run for the main door, i noticed, that the corpse on the floor was gone. i was too focused on searching the crates, i let my guard down. i tried to run, but someone grabbed my leg from behind, causing me to fall down. it was the cop. it seemed hopeless, put i suddenly remembered the knife in my pocket, the one that nick gave me earlier. i took it out of my pocket and sliced the zombie's hand clean off. i ran into the hall as fast as i could. but, the zombie who bit that cop earlier, made it's way toward me. i just realized that i left my knife back in the storage room. and i was lucky to find a fire axe in the hallway under the sign "break in case of fire" i broke the glass and took the axe. the zombie kept approaching, but i kicked it down and was just about to chop it's head, when the zombie cop grabbed my arm from behind. i let go the axe with my one arm and elbowed him right in the gut. that made him let go of the axe, so i chopped his head off and then finished off the other one. finally, i made it back to the yard. the sniper was in the lobby, shooting.

"stay back!! there's thousands of zombies outside!!"

"we have to leave! one of your guys was bitten by a zombie who somehow got in here! if one of them got in, the building could already be infested with zombies!"

"we can't escape through the main exit!! there's too many of them!!

"is there a fire exit somewhere?"

"yeah! do you think we should make a run for it?"

"yes! gather the others!"

"your friend is somewhere outside, on the other side of the building! find him and get back here as fast as you can!!"

just as i already tried to run out, he said:

"wait!! take this, you'll need it!" - and he handed me a MP5. Always wanted one of these!

then i ran out, and saw that was that sniper said was true. the zombies have flooded the whole street. the building was surrounded. nick is on the side... but which side?! i decided to run to the right side, got nothing to lose, right? i kept shooting while running, not really looking where. and so, a wall of living dead appeared right in front of me, and i wasn't fast enough to escape them. one of them grabbed me with his huge claws. he threw me into a wall. since when do zombies have huge claws? i stood up and nailed a bunch of bullets into his head. same happened to about 8 more zombies who were trying to consume my scalp. i made it out alive, but then tripped. nick lend me a hand.

"Tim, where's the cop?" - he said, while shooting the zombies in front.

"a zombie bit him! i think they already infested the building!"

"fuck! we need to get the hell outta here!!"

"OH MY GOD!!" - said the panicing voice of the sniper inside the building.

a dozen zombies came out of the right hallway. i tried to shoot them down, put there was too many of them.

"COME ON, WE NEED TO GET TO THE FIRE EXIT!!" i yelled.

"yes. we need to get out of here as fast as we can. come with me!"

"wait, wasn't there another cop?"

"he... didn't make it..." - said nick.

"those zombie assholes..." - i replied.

"come on!! we got no time to waist!!" - the sniper said.

then, i decide to go get something, which was quite risky.

"you two go, i'll catch up."

"what?!" - said nick in a concerned tone.

"just go! i need to go get something."

and then, i turned back, and ran to the main hall. i heard nick's "NOOOOO!!!" behind me. going through the zombie filled hallway was surprisingly easy with my MP5 here. i ran to the main hall and inserted rows of bullets into all of the zombies' craniums. they were coming into the building. about a hundred zombies were already coming through into the police station. all i needed here was my fire axe, as soon as i picked it up, i ran out as fast as i could. when i made a turn, i screamed as a zombie with sharp claws jumped towards me. good thing i had my axe. when he jumped onto me, and was just about to cut my throat, i chopped his head off perfectly. then, as running through the hall from a hundred zombies, i heard nick shouting my name. i ran towards where the shouts were coming from. i saw him, and the fire exit. we made it out.

TO BE CONTINUED... da da da!

it was an everyday morning. I got up, got dressed, took a shower, ate breakfast. but, I had an unnatural feeling about this morning. It was sunny, but... there was not a soul in the street. all the doors of every building have been boarded up, chained up and bricked up. so i said to myself:

"what the hell is going on?"

i figured it was nothing serious, so i put on my backpack and went to school, like i always do. as soon as i opened the door, i found something alright. it was frighting to see a bloody corpse in the middle of the hallway. with deep knife wounds. i freaked out and ran away. i quickly pushed the elevator button. when the door opened, i found over 3 corpses in a pile there. i fucking screamed and ran down the stairs speeding like a bullet. when i ran out of the building, i ran into the nearest alleyway as fast as i could. i didn't know what i was looking for, i didn't know what i was going to do, i didn't know what is going on. i was really scared. when suddenly, i heard a familiar voice:

"tim, is that you?"

"uhhh... yeah?.."

then i saw my neighbor, nick, standing alone in the alley.

"phew, nick... i'm so glad to see you right now!"

"yeah, and you're lucky to. i can't believe that you didn't turn into a zombie yet!"

"zombie?! what are you talking about?"

"you mean you haven't figured out yet?"

"figured out what?"

"oh, you know... the bleeding corpses, the boarded up doors and windows?"

"sorry, doesn't ring a bell..."

"ummmmm... it's a zombie apocalypse, for fuck's sake!! people have turned into zombies over night, i'm freaking out cos' i don't know what the hell to do, we're all doomed!!

"a zombie apocalypse... no way... i just thought that halloween came early this year, but... it's not actually true..."

"yeah, man. i freaked out when i woke up and saw my zombified dad above me trying to knife me in the gut."

"really? your dad has been zombified already?" - i asked.

"yeah... luckily, before he could kill me, i kicked his side, and he dropped the knife. i picked it up and cut his stomach. i freaked out, realized what happened, and focused on the matter at hand. i gathered supplies and left my home... forever. but before i could step my foot over the doorstep, my dad tried to grab me. i took the knife out of my pocket and kept knifing him in the face, throat and his heart to kill him. he fell down dead on the hallway after a good 8 slices with my knife. then i killed all other zombies i found in the building and stuffed them in the elevator. less of them to kill us, i thought."

"wow... so that was you... jesus, looks like you've been struck with an outburst of bravery. by the way, what did you pack up?

"oh, you know, some of my important personal junk, my wallet, just in case, a couple of knives, a baseball bat, a med kit, food, water, a journal, pencils n' shit, matches, my phone and laptop."

"i just packed all my books that i usually pack for school and a lighter..."

"shh, someone's coming!"

i saw it. it was a real life zombie. i couldn't believe my eyes. he was just like in the movies... but this time it was real. and it was no joke.

"a zombie. i saw a bunch of those things after i ran out of the building. i ran to the store over there, on the other side of the street. i saw the storekeeper having some trouble, so i knifed both of the zombies that were trying to eat him. he thanked me and shot himself after. i tried to stop him, but he kept saying that he can't possibly survive through the hoards of zombies. his wife and kids tried to kill him, and his business as a storekeeper is over. the guy shot himself with his pistol. i took it afterwards. then i saw a wave of zombies pass the street. there were hundreds of them. i stayed in the store until it was safe to come out. i've also noticed that the zombies, they can smell exposed flesh or a bleeding wound from a long distance. they are also quite endurable, they can't feel anything, so they can walk through fire and they don't need air to walk under water."

"wow, you noticed all that during one night?"

"video games, dude. video games."

"riiiight. welp, what do suppose we do now? take the destiny of that storekeeper or try to stick it out for as long as we can?"

"ain't no way i'm ending my life just because this outburst of zombies destroyed our whole lives. all the knowledge we need to survive is through experience. now, we should look for a really safe place to stay. if we sleep in an alley, we won't see the sunlight of the next morning."

"that sounds about right. but where will we find such shelter?" - i said.

"what about the police station? maybe there's someone still alive in there?"

"i hope so."

"the street looks empty. let's move! also, have my knife, just in case."

"but don't you need it?"

"nah, i have my pistol. now come on!"

and nick ran off. i started running too, but he was too fast. i said:

"nick, wait up!"

"i'm sorry, i can't hea-"

when suddenly, dead corpse that was lying on the pavement jumped right onto him with a sudden move. i screamed "NICK!" while he was trying to defend against that crazy zombified corpse. i ran to him and kicked the zombie's head of as hard as i could. it flew about 10 meters.

"nice one, thanks."

"no prob. i totally freaked out when he jumped on you!"

"me too... which is a sign that we really should be more careful. if we loose our guard again, we won't end up so lucky like this time."

"yeah. that was some pretty scary shit."

"so, tim? where are your parents? have they been turned into zombies?"

"i don't think so. they're on a holiday in London."

"they went to London and left you at home?"

"ugh, it's complicated."

so, we carefully walked a few blocks, watching each other's backs. we saw about 100 zombies in one wave. they were heading to the police station. that's when we knew we had to get a move on.

TO BE CONTINUED... da da da!

So, there I was. Lost in the merciful dark forest. I don't remember how I got here, and I don't know how I will get out. I sat down on a log nearby. I couldn't remember anything before the moment I opened my eyes and saw the darkness of the forest. I can't even remember my name, or where I live. At that moment, I saw a backpack next to a tree that was far away from me. Sure, I was a bit afraid. But from curiosity, I slowly got up and started walking. My steps were silent and careful. When I made my way to the backpack, I sat down and opened it. There were a few things inside: A candle, an old journal, and a shiny rock, which looked like a diamond. And suddenly, a ferocious roar emerged from the bushes. I felt like I should have run, but the roar sounded familiar. Despite that, I started to run like crazy. Without looking where I was going, I soon tripped on a root and fell onto the ground in a pile of moss. I heard how someone's (or something's) footsteps were getting closer to me, I was frightened. I couldn't move a muscle. Soon that someone picked me up and put me on my feet. It said to me:

"Gee, are you OK?" - said the voice of some dark figure standing next to me.

"W-who are you?" - I replied.

"What, don't you remember me? It's me, Cane, your old buddy!"

I raised my head, only to see a large, ferocious monster who looked me straight into my eyes. I was confused. Confused and afraid.

"Cane? My old buddy?" - I said.

"Um, yeah. Werewolf Cane. Is something wrong?" - said the monster.

"A werewolf? A real werewolf? This can't be happening. Is this some sort of dream?" - I said, almost panicking. "If I am your "old buddy", what is my name?"

"Uh, your name's Timmy, the last time I checked. And I'm Cane, if you forgot already."

"Strange, I feel like I should be frightened that I'm standing and talking to a real werewolf, but I'm not.."

"Hmm... It's almost as if you've lost your memory. Think, where was the last time you saw it?"

I chuckled. "