Timmy Tom, or TT as I have already chosen to name him, tackled Penis Timmy and spanked his scrotum. Penis Timmy blushed and released himself from TT's firm grip, and started to use hacks, acquiring money, strength, guns, women and a longer penis. He summoned his tank and tanked out of the wooden cabin.
I'm pretty sure it's spelled "spoildmilk". Also, my alternate ego is Ergox from time to time
Age 27, Male
Lazy bum
ummm
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That sentence gave me ten boners :3
Timmy Tom was disappointed his crush left him and started masturbating like there's no tomorrow.
That wanking son of a gun...
Meanwhile, Jim the fat guy was fucking his his hot girlfriend. As she orgasmed, Jim recieved a call from Toast the Ghost, his old high school buddy. The butterball pased outside of his mansion and got into his Mercedes, kicking into 6th drive and running over his grandmother who was holding a kitten, who was holding a 6 year old child.
What a sick, sick man.
Toast the Ghost was playing farmville on Facebook on his IPhone, while out of nowhere, a dickhead appeared holding a grenade. As Toast shouted out: "What are you fucking holding right now?!", the dickhead pulled the pin and tossed his grenade into Toast the Ghost.
This story keeps fucking getting better by the fucking minute!
Toast failed to react and he got blown away. Jim the fat guy arrived and beat the shit out of the dickhead. He whispered into Toast the Ghost's ear: "Never gonna give you UP, never gonna let you DOWN", and then he realized that he has been rickroll'd. His pain increased significantly and he died instantly.
OMG! What have you done. Jim.
As Jim mourned for his friend, TT hath finished wanking and settled down with a wife and two kids. But those god damned dickheads found his underground bunker and murdered his family while he was "at work" (aka fucking his secretary). Timmy Tom swore to get revenge on those bastards. He pulled out his 120cc chainsaw and vowed to put it into every dickhead's ass he comes across to.
But the dickheads didn't rule the country for long. From south of the border, "Mexicanoes" emerged, and started to gently fuck all of the pretty girls. After evil Timmy found out Mexicanoes had sex with his sister, he went completely insane. Shooting up every Mexicano in the god damned country, he exterminated those foul motherfuckers and brought peace to the land.
Also, THE END.
Fuck.
Sorry that I can't stay here for long, spoils, but it's 15 minutes after midnight and I'm fucking exhausted.
Me too? I guess?
Anyway, why do you no make good newsposts no more? It seems taht you've completely lost your touch :(
I can't come up with anything! I'm afraid of what people will think!
Also, I hope you're making something special for your 150th newspost! Like you did for 50th.
FUCK YEAH I WILL POST SO MANY DICKS THAT NEWGROUNDS SERVERS WILL CRASH 10 FREAKING TIMES
I feel in a "talking about spoildmilk's girlfriend" kind of mood. How about it?
Fucking! I will have to spank some sence into you if this continues.
Sorry that it sounded weird, but I'm just really ticked off this afternoon.
How did I describe her earlier? A "bisexual scat fetish bitchy fine assed stock freak"? Yeah. But I'd still bang her.
You would not bang her! You couldn't take her hotness in your face and her tight pussy on your little penis! She would tear you up with her wildness and make you run like a little girl!
She invited me over the other day. Said something about "talking about the state of our relationship". I said to myself, what the fuck?
Heck YEAH what the fuck.
You can't talk about things that DON'T EXIST. >:(
I went there, but she started talking about if I think she cares about me, as in "Do you give a fuck when I ask you to fuck me", sorta. That's pretty much the shortened version of the unbelievably long pile of words she was spilling out of her mouth.
She obviously got bored with you and wants to dump you. F yeah, justice happened.
About half way through, I started thinking about boobs and vaginas and how much I love them and dosed of into my happyland. She noticed I wasn't listening after a while and slapped me! I was like: >_>? What the fuck are you doing, bitch?
Muahhhaahahahaha! OOPS! I told her to do that if lotsofpain doesn't pay attention to her.
I didn't know why she slapped me (she obviously tried to snap me out of my day dream) and I thought she was engaging me in combat. All I knew is that I had to defend, because the hell I knew how much martial combat a freak like her could have? She's crazy enough to be a black belt in karate!
She is! RUN MAN, RUN! RUN OUTTA THERE SCREAMING FOR GOD'S MERCY UPON YOUR SOUL, MAN!!!
I quickly grabbed her by the thighs and tackled her on the ground, completely curling her legs around my arms and leaving her defenseless. Having her at my will, I "whipped out" my cock, if you will and stuffed it deep into her vaginal cavity.
You grabbed her THIGHS?! You stuffed WHAT in her vaginal cavity?! You wrapped her LEGS around YOU?!
You owe me about... 15 thousand dollars in cash.
She let out a loud moan of pleasure as it went pretty much to the end of her vagina. She struggled while shaking and lactating with pleasure, with short quick moans and fast heavy breathing. That was my method of defending, I guess?
You are probably the worst best friend ever!
lotsofpain
Good Timmy went off into the woods and found prick campers jerking off in their tent. Timmy said: "sacre bleu!", took out his holy water and "showered" the nervous campers. As they ran screaming into the thick forest, good Timmy flew off using his angel wings smiling like some happy fucker.
spoildmilk
I fucking laughed my bullocks off!!